|Shoes are a deal breaker.|
On one of my first nights in Japan, while training in Nagoya, my friend Mike and I went to a small foreigner-owned bar where we met a Black Francis look-alike (if you need to google this, you seriously need to pick up a few Pixies albums). Frank Black was a seasoned foreigner, and he had been in Japan for several years, therefore offered us newbies his best piece of wisdom. To Mike, he said "You'll be getting insane amounts of girls**" (**the actual word was not girls, but a charming p-word), and to me, "You're not going to get any, so you'll come running back to me".
For several months and perhaps years following that encounter, I laughed at how ridiculous his words were, and wanted to prove him wrong- which I did for a while. Then, as I found myself more single than ever, I started to think he maybe had a point. I never went running back to Black Francis, but while not being entirely wrong, the guy had a point.
Foreign girls dating in Japan don't always have it easy, but I think many of them make it difficult for themselves. They only go after foreign males, which is why they're not getting any. As charming and smart and fun foreign guys are, they're best kept as friends. And as beautiful, intelligent and interesting we foreign girls are, foreign males are not going to go after us when surrounded in a playground of mini skirt and heels-clad babes. I can't blame them either. Japanese girls are some of the most beautiful in the world, they take amazing care of themselves and are kind, caring individuals.
In Japan, foreign girls sometimes have a reputation for being loud, noisy, overweight, badly-dressed and not groomed. While I'm sure some are, most of the foreign girls I know in Japan are the exact opposite and this is usually something that bitter foreign males with a Charisma Man complex say to make themselves feel better. Yet, it's not a fair assessment to label all guys as Charisma Men, as many of my male friends in Japan are anything but, and it's not fair to say all foreign girls are oversized cavemen-like creatures. Most of my foreign female friends are gorgeous, dainty, well-behaved and make Japanese girls insecure.
Many foreign girls fail to see the possibilities around them, and all the great dates they might be missing out on, because they usually have misconceptions about Japanese males- they've heard they're too shy, or they don't speak English, or they cultural gap is too large. Well, many foreign girls are totally missing out, as Japanese guys make amazing partners, and they'll take you out on fabulous dates, and show you Japan like you've never seen it. They're extremely caring, kind, thoughtful. Some of them may be a little shy, but boys are boys everywhere in the world- they want the same thing, so just keep that in mind and it may be easier.
Boys will be boys. Those are my words of wisdom, there ya go, Frank Black.